This will be my last post about the events of April 15th, 2013.  Though it's only been a little over three weeks, it feels like much longer. And so much has happened in my life and in the world since then. I want to put down some final thoughts and move on with my life. I want to post about my awesome weekend in Chicago, and get back to sharing my monthly Loot Crate goodness. I'm still alive, unharmed and have, hopefully, much more life left to live.

This past Sunday Tom and I went along to watch Dani run the Quincy Half Marathon. It was the first time since the bombings that either of us were at a race as spectators. it was a small race, about 600 people I think.  There was only a handful of spectators, all family and friends of the runners I assume. And Dani did quite well, gaining a new personal record by about 4 minutes if I remember correctly. It was sort of an odd feeling being back in that environment  I did feel a little bit of anxiety which I allowed myself to indulge in, but then quickly shrug off.  There was a fairly heavy police presence which provided a relatively safe feeling that allowed me to move on with my day.

At the start of the race, they took a moment of silence to remember those who we lost and those who were injured at the bombings. I got emotional again. I find I can't help it when the event is brought up in such a solemn way. The race director then gave a short speech about the best thing we can do is keep on doing what we love, running. By "we" I mean of course the runners - not us lowly spectators.

It bothers me that in this speech, and in the articles I've read since the marathon, the focus is always on the runners.  As a person who is often at races to spectate and support my wife, I feel somewhat slighted and unappreciated. The bombs on April 15th tore through the crowds watching the race. They killed three people there to support and watch the runners.  Where are the uplifting messages to thank and support those of us who love to come and watch our friends and family?  We may not be running all the races, but are we not worth a mention given what has happened?

But hey, we are all "Boston Strong" right?  I wasn't sure, and still am not sure, if I should publish my thoughts on that sentiment.  When this slogan first came out as a powerful message of solidarity it felt nice. The mass thoughts and prayers coming from Boston and around the world were almost palpable. But then it turned into something else.  Through internet memes, media, and merchandising it took on a atmosphere of celebration. A "Fuck Yeah Boston!" kinda feel if you will. And this happened so fast.

To me that feels wrong. It feels way too soon. There are people still in the hospital, people still reeling from the events. The bloody images from the street are still way too fresh in my mind for any kind of celebration spawned from those horrible acts. It's sort of like being at a party where everyone else is happy and cheering but I'm just sad and angry. Resilience and strength in a community after a tragedy are a good thing. Lets just not forget that what happened seriously fucked up life for a lot of people for the foreseeable future.

So that's pretty much all I wanted to say. I'm happy they caught/killed the guys responsible for this. I hope justice is done and history will forget their names, while remembering the heros from that day.  I'm still working through my own stress and anxiety.  The human mind is kind of amazing in the way it deals with things like this. The dreams I've had... oye! But it's getting better.  And if there is one positive thing I can take from my experience, it's a better appreciation for life and living it to the fullest.